Behind closed eyelids

If you don’t know this is a Teddy Pendergrass song, I really don’t know what to say about your musical education.  I mean come on now, Teddy P?

Alright, so we all no how I like the mornings, right (|>)? Well, like most people I have a morning ritual: hit the snooze twice, lay in bed while I figure out what I want to wear to work, fall back to sleep, hit the snooze again, cure the heavens for the work week, get out of bed.

Symbol:     |>    Definition: This icon is primary used by myself and my best friend. This is a sarcasm flag. We both love sports (especially football) so a lot of times when we go off on tangents we use sports terminology. But when we’re gmail-ing and texting we often use the sarcasm flag to show that were are, in fact, being facetious (or jackasses, ya konw what ev’s).

So, I’m taking care of my morning absolutions and I go to the kitchen to get some OJ. When I open the fridge, the light it out.  So like any half sleep zombie, I close the refrigerator and open it again (thinking it just needed a warning that I wanted juice and the light should be on now).  Of course the light doesn’t come back on so I unscrew the bulb, shake it, and put it on the counter. Thinking I need to go to the Home Depot to get a replacement bulb this weekend. I walk to my bed room to get ready & I realize the light switch is in the on positions but the lights aren’t on.  So I’m thinking I slept with the light on & it burned out (remember, it’s morning and my brain is on dial-up, not wireless DSL). It finally dawns on me to check the rest of the electricals in the house. Sure enough, the power is out. I checked outside but there doesn’t appear to be any inclement weather happening before my eyes. I call the electric company, thinking I may have forgotten to pay a bill. But at the same time thinking I haven’t forgotten to pay that many bills the power would be off.

End the end, there was an outage in my area and they were working on it. I end up wearing sweats and a t-shirt to my very corporate job. I’m all ready with a great excuse for my current state of dress, when I see half the people in my office in jeans (insert Scooby voice here…err?) Turns out the head guy is a major cardinals fan (poor guy, although the last couple of games weren’t bad) and since the all star game was tonight, we all had a casual day. I totally missed this memo.

Did I black out or something?

So I was walking out of this building, taking care of some errands, when this old guy is walking toward me:

Man: “Awww, you look like that singer. Damn, what’s her name? The fine one. What is her name? Macy Gray, naw dat ain’t her name.”

Me: Jill scott?

Man: Yeah, that her, Jill Scott. And you got pretty toes too. Praise Jesus, I’mo be right here waiting for you to get back. Girl, I give you all my food stamps…

Yeah…now, I’ve gotten this Jill Scott comment before. I’m honored, I think Ms. Scott is not only beautiful, but has an amazing voice. I own every CD she’s put out (someof them twice). My grandmother has also stolen said CDs under the pretense of “confisaction”. However I’ve never been offered food stamps as homage to her likeness. 

There are no words.

I totally owe anyone a drink if they know where this song title comes from. I won’t tell you till tomorrow (or maybe the next day). Now the rules for this drink are contingent upon you all not going to IMBD or using the internet to get the answer.

The reason for the title…my grandmother or MaG as she is affectionately called. Now, if you know me, you know that I’m not too big on my family. I am sometimes envious of my best friends family because they’re so close.  I am literally the black sheep of my family, so black I’m smoke. Some of it is my own doing (mostly for survival) but I could make more of an effort to be close to them. If you knew me long ago though, then the fact that I talk to my grandmother is a BIG thing (see I’m growing).

What’s amazing to me, is that even though I don’t deal with my family a whole lot, I know that as my elders get older I will do whats necessary to take care of them in any way I can. It’s my job. They took care of me when I was growing up  (well sort of) and when they need it it will be my turn to take care of them.

Having said all that, I find that sometimes when I talk to my grandmother I feel as though I’m an elder scolding a junior? That and having to repeat myself over and over again. I mean seriously should I be telling my elder she should be making a budget of her income? I would think it should be the other way around.

Can you put your grandparents on punishment? You know, take away they’re cell phone so they can’t call their BFF Rose. Restrict their solitaire privileges on the computer, no Y&R for a week ( I mean are Nikki & Victor still together). Something until they do what they’re suppose to do & not drive me to beat my head against the steering wheel of my car when I listen to the four voice mail messages that randomly get cut off as they talk to the mailbox like I’m really there. Then forget to turn the cell phone off so I have ten minutes of just randomness.

I mean, I love her, she taught me how to drink, shoot, and cook but sometimes (I swear foe christmas ) that woman could piss off a statue.